However boundless it appears, the thoughts and imaginations are just embedded within the infinity of space! It comes, it takes time to come, or maybe it never comes in my case in this life frame. There is always a twinkling star in the infinity of the darkness, but here the infinity is the light – the unbounded, the eternal, the me, and the you! The space is not the darkness, the space is the light! But, again, thought comes! Thought comes like the iceberg metaphor – a small visible part running our entire life where as a large part somewhere hidden. Somewhere unrecognized. Or like water hyacinth. Or like the clouds. I really don’t know, I don’t want even to pretend that I know – because for sure I don’t know as the unknowable are just experienced. It happens within the realm of experience! And it just has never happened. Spirituality is overrated – not because it is overrated, but it is misunderstood! The life brings me back, so called reality brings me back, thoughts bring me back from that vast silence (yet thought is the very same existence in that duality which let mind realize its spaciousness – the thoughtlessness), desire brings me back, bills bring me back, family brings me back, work brings me back, school brings me back. And suddenly I remember Karma Yoga – and indeed, to be true to yourself is a big challenge.
Situations have changed. Happenings or objects we call things have changed. Actually many things have changed – somewhere in so called realities, it is simplified; and somewhere in so called realities, it is just complicated. Pushing me to sit back – to sit back, to be the iceberg under the water, or to be the water hiding under the water hyacinth, or to be the reality beyond the dream – everything feels like on me! And a force of thoughts knock me off – knock me off from that sit, but with smile. A smile that comes as a conclusion: “Life is attitude!”
There are tools – there are therapy techniques! One of my friend recommended: “You will see it when you believe it!” There are collection of books on my own list. There is everything – but it just does not come. Of course, patience is what needed - something comes with time maybe. In spite of reading, in spite of humming prayers, in spite of singing hymns, or whatever. Probably, this is just a happenstance. No worries.
Somehow, I started to believe that reality is where thought focuses on! The reality that I understand from where I am living. The attitude that I call life which I previously mentioned. The freedom achievable within the context of the so called reality mentioned already – the reality created by family, the reality created by school, the reality created by work, the reality created by bills, the reality created by rules and government, and the reality created by social construct – is the freedom to be achieved by the focus of the thoughts. I remember the ABC principle i.e. the Actual event, Belief system, and Consequences (acronym) which just means that consequences is not the direct outcome of actual event – which was taught by Bikasanand (spelling mistake probably in his name) years ago. It comes again, it comes again. It comes here. Because, deep down, I know that is not the freedom. That is never a true freedom – that is why it comes again and again. In the liberation of the self, it is never enough – that is why it comes again and again with smile. It comes with the pleasant thoughts passing by.
And finally, serenity is not equal to smile. But, life is about taking it one moment a time. And letting it unfold itself. Having our awareness focused on good things – probably, is what is for me.